When can I read your books?
I grin and cringe at this question in equal measures because I’m not sure when you can read them. I’ve written (and re-written and developmentally edited) one novel for the better part of three years, and it’s currently in the query cycle. I’m working on a second novel now and that should be completed by the end of Sumer 2025. But the “when” part will be sorted once I either have an agent and there’s a a traditional publication timeline or if I end up taking different publishing routes. It’s a long process. I think that’s why I started a Substack, because I was itching to write and get it out there faster.
What made you want to write fiction?
I’ve always wanted to write fiction. Writing stories as a kid is one of the only clear memories I have that predates my diabetes diagnosis. Writing feels good. Breaking into novelist territory has been VERY exciting. Learning to write novels has been challenging (like holy shit, this is hard) but also the kind of challenging my whole body responds to. It’s exciting. I love learning new shit.
Which cat do you like the best?
Two cats live in our house: Loki and Ruckus. Loki is six years old and very rotund, with a conversational yowl and a tail that knocks against the wooden stairs with a thump when she’s pissed off, which is often because of: Ruckus. She’s our resident orange kitten, a marmalade potato with paws, and she’s not very nice to Loki but man, do I think she’s a riot.
Pour one out for Loopy; she is missed.
Which would you choose: dishes or laundry?
Doing laundry is so awesome. Things go into the wash all gross and mangled and they come out fresh and warm and smelling like Gain detergent with a Bounce dryer sheet afterglow. I am brand specific.
What’s your preferred number?
I like the number four.
Do you like small talk?
I frigging LOVE small talk. I love those bite-sized interactions with strangers where you can get a whole pile of life details from someone while you’re standing in the checkout line at HomeGoods. I live for people feeling the need to explain why they bought hand towels with bedazzled corgis on them. I revel in the moments where people ask you how your day has been and then they honestly answer your question back to them. I think people are the best and the most interesting things in the world.
Which child do you like the most?
Yes.
Can you whistle?
No. Not even a little bit. Not even if I breathe in really sharply and purse my lips at the same time. No whistling.
What do you keep in your office?
There are about 20 plants in this office, with the majority of them purchased as one-offs when I’m getting paint from Lowe’s. I’ve had this one African Violet for longer than I’ve been married. Another one of these plants is from my old office when I worked at dLife in Westport, CT. Some of these plants are grown from plant clippings I stole from old coworkers and friends. I forget to water them sometimes but these little suckers keep growing. I respect their resilience.
There are a lot of books in here, too, and while I wish I took the time to organize them by color I organized them by color a few years ago and they look fantastic like that but I can’t find anything when I need it, so I’ll probably reorganize by genre soon. There’s always a tumbleweed of cat hair on the floor. There’s also a whole basket of random cords in the cupboard behind me, and I have no idea what they all go to but I’m kept up at night at the thought of throwing them away. I know that as soon as I toss one of them, the device that needs it to survive will start to splutter. This shit plagues me. I wish I hadn’t even written it down because now it’s definitely going to happen.
Who are other writers that you enjoy?
I really enjoy Roald Dahl’s whole world of work. And the descriptive genius of David Sedaris. And the prolific prose of Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Weiner and Jojo Moyes. And my favorite screenwriter is Chris Sparling.
What’s your favorite color?
Gray. I like my clothes to be boring but my personality to be colorful.
What do you always have in your bag when you leave the house?
I’ll admit that I wonder if my mom is the one who sent this question, checking to see if I always have glucose tabs on me or something. But YES MOM I always have some kind of low blood sugar treatment in my bag. And I almost always have my car keys, my phone, an insulin pen of questionable expiration date, a tube of Lip Smackers strawberry lip gloss, a pack of gum, dental floss, and a small notebook. My bag also usually has receipts, loose mints, an old face mask (not an N95 but like a face mask of an old face — boo!!), and leaves in it. I’m gross.
Do you still read blogs?
Not to answer-with-a-question, but are there still blogs to read? I see a lot of posts on Instagram and Facebook, but blogging seems like it is on hiatus (permanent?) and that podcasts and social media sites are subbing in. I don’t know if this is actually true or if this is my 40-something hot take on it, but long-form blogging is harder to find. I do miss reading it, though. And writing it. Substack seems to hit the mark for me these days, with former bloggers writing essays there. If you’d like to see what I’m writing on Substack, you can check it out here.
What are you using to manage your diabetes these days?
Device-wise, I’m using a Tandem Mobi insulin pump (it’s so teeny!) and am clinging to the Dexcom G6 continuous glucose monitor. I take Humalog insulin, blood pressure medication, and was convinced by my plucky endo to take a statin for preventative measures against cardiac events. I also take great pleasure in talking with my diabetes friends to keep my mental health intact. Nothing like peer support to make the burden of chronic illness so much lighter.
Do you wear jeans?
Do you actually know me in real life? Is that why you’re asking me this? No, I never wear jeans. I frigging loathe jeans. Give me leggings or give me death.
Are you still doing speaking engagements?
Yes, infrequently but happily. You can send a speaking invitation to me via email at kerri @ kerrisparling dot com. Thanks for thinking of me!
How can we ask you an infrequently asked question?
Email me at kerri (at) kerrisparling (dot) com. Subject line it with “IAQ.”